Now, here’s a little inspirational post. Slightly off-topic, but not all that much. What you can see below is a piece of art created by University of Texas art student Jasmine Kay Uy. Sometimes, you just need to look around another corner to get the full picture. Beautiful – and very clever. Reminded me of the Holstee Manifesto that I posted quite a while ago. Share and enjoy!
This is another really cool infographic by Anna Vital of Funders and Founders. And I think the quotes she gathered do not only apply to the realm of entrepreneurship but getting sh.t done in general. When I look at that graphic (which means through the lens of Positive Psychology), I see insights on self-efficacy, self-concordance, grit and perseverance, and hope (theory).
Share and enjoy!
I recently stumbled upon this quote by Carl Gustav Jung, the founder of Analytic Psychology. Though I feel that people can change considerably over the course of a lifetime, Jung reminds us that we may possess an unchangeable core, e.g., a set of “drives” or “needs” that stay the same throughout our lives, to be manifested through different activities and vocations (please see the article on self-determination theory on the link to Positive Psychology).
Over the last two years or so, bucket lists have become really popular – a lot of people shared theirs via Facebook etc. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a bucket list is a “number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime”. It´s based on the term “to kick the bucket” as a synonym for dying. The term was popularized by a 2007 movie feat. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. So basically, people write down on a list the places that they want to see, things they want to do, and goals the want to achieve. By now, there are specialized internet communities evolving around this topic.
And while I fully endorse goal-setting and following through with them (as long as they are self-concordant goals), having too many too aspirational goals can also be a burden in our life. That´s why I was pleased to stumble upon a sort of countertrend very recently:
It´s a list (in this context) where you put all those things that once may have been on your bucket list – but then you’ve realized that you are too old (or rather: grown-up), too lazy, or simply too “different” compared to the time you put it on the list – to follow through with a specific goal.
With my own personal development, but also with some of my coaching clients, I´ve come to realize that old (outdated) goals can suck up a considerable part of a person´s (mental) energy – which than lacks in the process of pursuing current ones. People sometimes feel as a failure when they have to admit to themselves that they are never going to “climb that mountain” – or whatever it is that they´ve put on their bucket list.
But the truth is: we grow older and life moves on. It´s completely normal to have different priorities in different phases of our lives. When I became a father 2.5 years ago, this totally changed my priorities and my internal value system. And by all means, this also meant erasing some things from my bucket list and putting them on my fuck-it list.
But there doesn´t even have to be an incisive event such as becoming a parent. As I´ve said: sometimes, life just moves on. And if that is so, it can be a liberating experience to consciously let go of some of our childhood or teenage dreams. I´ve dreamt about becoming a professional athlete well into my twenties. But I wasn´t good enough (and probably too lazy as well). Still, goals like that can linger in the back of our heads (and dark corners of our hearts), causing trouble, in the form of regret, disappointment, anger, and most of all: putting energy where it would be desperately needed elsewhere.
Truth be told: when I decided to let go of my dream about becoming the next Boris Becker or Roger Federer, I did not just write it down on a piece of paper; I tried to find something more appreciative. If something truly significant and valuable like a childhood dream has been with you for most of your life, I advise you to “bid farewell” to that goal via a little ritual.
Back then, I wrote my dream on a piece of paper. Then, I put it into a small metal bowl. After that, I sat down on my porch, and took an hour or so to remember all the good things that came out of pursuing that goal: the tournaments I had won in my youth, the friends I had made, and simply all those countless hours of dedicated practice during most of my childhood – which surely have taught me a lot about diligence and resilience – therefore helping me to achieve whatever success I have now in my life as a business man and psychologist.
Then, I set fire to the paper, watched in burn down – and finally scattered the ashes in the evening wind.
I think there´s a lot to this quote. Oftentimes, people prefer to experience “familiar misery” to an “unknown happiness”. We have to learn how to overcome this barrier. But where are those places “we belong”? Self-Concordance Theory has a lot to offer here…
If you are a regular visitor of Mappalicious, you know by now that I´m a big fan of Self-Determination Theory and adjacent frameworks such as Self-Concordance Theory. These concepts have been developed roughly at the same time as central tenets of Positive Psychology – without necessarily being regarded as “part of” Positive Psychology (don´t ask me why, I guess it´s just a consequence of different research agendas/”brand building”).
Recently, I stumbled upon a TEDx talk given by Edward Deci where he explains the foundations of SDT. In addition, there´s a nice intro to the framework by Richard Ryan given at a SDT conference. Listening to the two SDT co-founders will give you a great and lively overview of the core concepts and some of its applications. Enjoy!
Two days ago, I stumbled upon this (anonymous…?) quote on the net:
Or rather, the quote consisted only of the first sentence – and I found it necessary to add the second. Sigmund Freud once wrote that “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” Freud has written a lot of nonsense in his lifetime – but I think here, he´s right on the spot. Obviously, this is not to say that other aspects of life are not important (such as play and recreation). But a lot of people these days spend a least half of their waking hours at work, which also means that we spend most of our time (because that includes our free time) in the presence of other people. That´s why the late Christopher Peterson used to say Other People Matter when asked for a short definition of Positive Psychology. It´s pretty straightforward. I guess most people would agree that our loved ones and friends are one of the most important sources of happiness in our lives – we don´t need Positive Psychology for this insight (even though they can also be an important source of grieve).
But what about work? Isn´t work a constant source of stress and discomfort for most of us? After all, surveys such as the Gallup Engagement Index regularly show that the greater part of the workforce are not really engaged in their current job. While this finding most likely is based on different causations, I propose that a very important one is a lack of fit between the person and the attributes of a job. That´s why I felt a need to add a second sentence to the above-mentioned quote. While I like the general idea, “becoming (more or less) famous” is a prime example of an extrinsic goal – and pursuing these has been shown to be detrimental to our well-being.
We all need to find something that we like to do irrespective of the (external) consequences. This is the most important learning from Self-Determination Theory and adjacent theories like the Self-Concordance Model. We have to find work that we would do even without being paid. I know that this a “moonshot goal” for most people as things are today – but it´ll be the key to lasting productivity and (workplace) happiness in the future.
People have goals. In fact, that may be the defining element of our human nature. We´ve been called the “Knowing Man” (Homo sapiens), the “Learning Man” (Homo discens) and even the “Story-telling Man” (Homo narrans) – among lots of other things. In one of their latest works, Martin Seligman, spiritus rector of Positive Psychology, and Roy Baumeister posit that we are “Homo prospectus”: the “envisioning man” – precisely due to the fact that we are always “drawn by the future”. We are always “on to something”: places to go, people to meet, things to do. On a closer look, it is strikingly odd trying to imagine a (living and healthy) person that does not have any goals, however small they may be. To that effect, we are also drawn by our future selves. There is always an upgrade, a “Me 2.0”. It may wait around the next corner or in a distant future – but again: it´s hard to imagine a person that has stopped trying to “become something else” (and most likely: something “better” – whatever that may be).
So, if goals and goal-striving play such an important part in all our lives: Why does it go wrong so often? Why do people lose their motivation while being on their way? Or, even more interesting: Why do they reach their goals and end up being disillusioned and unhappier than they were before? Some very valuable answers to these questions are provided by Self-Determination Theory (Ryan & Deci, 2000), and the Self-Concordance Model of (healthy) goal-striving (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999), an adjacent framework.
Self-Determination Theory* suggests there are four distinguishable levels of motivation, or more precisely: regulations of behavior: integrated, identified, introjected, and external. The level is determined by the degree of internalization of a specific goal – you might also say: how close it is to our “true selves”; and it´s also a way of describing the path from very little to full autonomy in the process of pursuing a goal.
Integrated motivation shares a lot of attributes with intrinsic motivation but is nonetheless classified as extrinsic – because the goal in question is still pursued for reasons extrinsic to the self, rather than the inherent enjoyment of the task.
The Self-Concordance Model takes the above-mentioned insights one step further. Let´s have a look at the abstract of the first scientific article describing the theory:
The self-concordance of goals (i.e., their consistency with the person’s developing interests and core values) plays a dual role in the model. First, those pursuing self-concordant goals put more sustained effort into achieving those goals and thus are more likely to attain them. Second, those who attain self-concordant goals reap greater well-being benefits from their attainment. Attainment-to-well-being effects are mediated by need satisfaction, i.e., daily activity-based experiences of autonomy, competence, and relatedness that accumulate during the period of striving.
So the basic idea is pretty straight-forward: We exert more effort when pursuing goals that are “close to our heart” (contrary to mostly extrinsically regulated goals). More effort leads to progress and a higher likelihood of goal attainment. And in turn, reaching goals makes us happy. But that´s not the end of the story: When we choose to pursue self-concordant goals, the act of moving forward is satisfying in itself. Why is that the case? The theory posits that pursuing self-concordant goals is associated with satisfying three basic psychological needs: The needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness.
And while I have been talking of small children to make a point: those needs are active in all of us to a varying degree. And it does not stop until the end of this life. Ask yourself:
Do I foster an environment that caters to the fulfillment of these needs with regards to the people I´m involved with?
Here´s some research:
So, these are the answers to the questions from the second paragraph of this article:
You can learn a lot about that last point from the final chapter of my book – which unfortunately is still only available in German…
*The circular image of SDT has been adapted from a diagram in the aforementioned article on SDT and coaching. An overview of hundreds (literally…) of studies can be found here. Enjoy!
It is the same story each year, isn´t it?
I guess that´s what the top-5 list of New Year´s resolutions would look like. The problem is: most of these goals have about the same half-life period as that hangover that welcomes a lot of us on New Years´s morning. Yet, per se, goal-setting is not a bad thing – quite the opposite is true. The motivational and performance-enhancing effects of goal-setting are among the most thoroughly researched issues in academic psychology. If you´d like to know more, please read this article that succinctly summarizes 30 years of goal-setting research.
Besides, there´s lots of help available on the net. When you type in “how to reach goals” on Google you´ll get more than one million hits. Most of these will display smart content. To be more precise: some information on the SMART framework. SMART is an acronym that originally stems from project management theory.* There are lots of slightly different versions on the internet. The most common probably is this one:
Specific: A goal should be stated in a markedly tangible way. The more precise, the easier it will be to take the necessary steps. An example: Instead of “I want to work out more often” it is better state something along the lines of “From now on, I will go jogging twice a week for 45 minutes (on Tuesdays and Thursdays right after work). Additionally, I will do weight training on Saturday afternoons for 45 minutes.” This could be refined even more. As a rule of thumb: the more precise you are able to describe to another person what you intend to do, the better.
Measurable: A goal (as well as the distance between the initial situation and the goal) should be quantifiable. Without measurement, there´s no progress check. Without progress, there´s no lasting motivation. An example: Instead of “I want to lose some weight” it is better to state something along the lines of “I want to weigh 140 pounds and keep that weight as a steady state. In order to achieve this, I will lose 4 pounds on average over the next 6 months – and then keep my weight right there.”
Attainable: A goal should be achievable – but definitely display a certain amount of difficulty. Goals that are completely unrealistic typically destroy our motivation. On the other hand, goals that are reached to easily usually do not yield the success stories we really yearn for. Yet, there´s another connotation to this criterion. We should put our efforts in something that personally attainable – a goal should be in our personal “sphere of influence”. For instance, “Finding the man of my dreams” goes against this criterion. It´s much more helpful to plan concrete actions that are conducive to that overarching goal, e.g., enrolling in a dancing course.
Relevant: A goal should be relevant, in other words: important and meaningful. This may sound self-evident – but it is not at all trivial. Rarely do we question the motivation behind our goals sufficiently. Why do I want what I want? Is this really my goal? And if not: For whom or what am I doing this? Should you realize that a goal is chiefly driven by extrinsic motivation please do exercise some caution. The most beneficial kind of goal is a self-concordant objective – in other words, a goal that is aligned with our deeper values and motives. Following a self-concordant goal is a satisfying process in itself – so no matter if you reach the goal or not: you will profit from trying to do so. From this it follows that one important prerequisite for “good goals” is a sufficient level of self-awareness. One way to attain this is getting to know your (character) strengths. You´ll find a free scientifically validated test here (create a profile, then choose the „VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire“).
Time-bound: A goal should have a reasonably defined time frame. Without this, there is no rigorous progress review. Additionally, most people are motivated by deadlines – so why not use this extra kick? I guess an example is not needed here.
Ok. So this is the original SMART framework. I assume that most of my readers have been at least somewhat familiar with this. Now the question is: Why do so many personal changes endeavors fail? Is SMART useless? Probably not. But incomplete, most likely. Therefore, here´s my proposal for an extension – based on science and my personal experience as a coach:
Implementation Intentions: Peter Gollwitzer, a German professor of motivational psychology, has developed a method that tries to bridge the ever-looming implementation gap: so-called implementation intentions. Because of their structure, they are also called “If-Then-Plans” (Alternatively: “When-Then”). They function by connecting planned behavior with triggering cues in the proximate environment. Two examples: 1) “Right after I have laid down my briefcase when coming home from work, I will put on my jogging clothes and go for a run. If the weather is really bad, I´ll use the exercise machine instead.” 2) “If I notice a strong urge to smoke, I will put a chewing gum in my mouth immediately.” Once again: the more concrete the plan, the higher the chance for following through.
Exceptions clarified: If you want to create a new habit, making no exceptions at all over the course of the first months is the fastest road to success. At the same time, it is well-known that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Therefore, it is very helpful to give some thought to the potential occurrence of exceptions and setbacks. For instance: What does smoking one cigarette once in a while mean for somebody who tries to quit? From my experience with coaching clients I know that people tend to frame these exceptions to the new rule as a total failure of the change project – which in turn extinguishes all of their motivation. In terms of sustainable change, it is therefore helpful to define which exceptions to the new rule will be acceptable – without calling into question the overall endeavor.
Systemic Perspective: Finally, I highly suggest giving some thought to the following issues (this is comparable to a Force-Field Analysis in organizational change management):
How does my goal fit in with the goals and aspirations of important people in my personal context (the external system)? E.g., if you would like to work out from now on for 5 hours per week: Is this time you usually spend with your significant other? And if yes: How do you intend to “compensate” for this?
How does my goal fit into the texture of those goals and intentions that are already in place (the internal system)? It is useful to ask which positive intentions (secondary benefits) are fulfilled by those behavior patterns that you would like to change/eliminate. Your chances of establishing a new behavior pattern are much higher if you manage to transfer these intensions/needs into your new mode of being: By way of example, most smokers do not smoke because they like the taste. Rather, smoking fulfills a calmative function. For some, it´s a means of weight control. Additionally, there is a social aspect to smoking that needs to be considered. So if you want to quit, it is highly advisable to give some thought to the question of how to integrate these requirements into your life as non-smoker.
By the way: it cannot hurt to get some external reference to keep yourself on track. The earlier you manage to turn the envisioned behavior into a habit, the better. In 2014, I use my smartphone, specifically the Good Habit Maker and the app Balanced.
* The original source of the SMART framework is this article (most likely): Doran, G. T. (1981). There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35-36.
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