To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.
Sorry, Positive Psychologists. It´s all been said and done before… 😉
If you are like most people, willpower and self-regulation may not exactly be among your top strengths. E.g., for most of us, self-regulation is located pretty close to the bottom of the list when filling in the VIA questionnaire on 24 character strengths – which is based on Seligman´s and Peterson´s book Character Strengths and Virtues.
But then, breaking or making habits is one of the most important tasks when trying to succeed at a personal change project. So lo and behold! There´s help on the way. In earlier days, people would tie a knot in their handkerchiefs to help them remember things. These days, people don´t use handkerchiefs that much – but most of us do have a smartphone (or two…). And of course, there´s lots of apps around that strive on the fact that our spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Here, I´d like to introduce you to three app that I´ve started using at the onset of the year:
On New Year´s Eve, I´ve decided I´d like to become a “nicer” person this year. It´s not that I´m an asshole right now – I just thought I could put a little extra effort in it. Probably a “side effect” of being in the MAPP program…
OK. The Good Habit Maker is a nice little (free) app that does only one thing: at pre-selected intervals over the day, it’ll push one sentence to your smartphone´s screen, e.g. your personal change mantra. Helps a lot to bring your mind back to what you want to achieve during busy schedules.
The app Balanced is a little more refined, it´s a sort of task manager. You can enter specific tasks that you want to accomplish, and the quantities/intervals you intend to fulfill (e.g., “watch a TED talk once a week”). The app will then continuously remind you to complete those tasks until they are done. It also keeps track of you levels of completion and timeliness. There´s a demo version that is limited to a small number of tasks – the full version comes at $ 2.99.
And finally, the Grid Diary: as the name suggests, it´s a nice and clean diary app. The useful twist: you can pre-select (or enter your own…) specific questions. So instead of having to think about what to write each and every evening, the app will make you respond to the prompts that you specifically chose to be given. By way of example, I use it as a gratitude journal, which is one of the pre-eminent interventions in Positive Psychology. It´s free but offers some in-app purchases.
Enjoy! Keep it going! And for some extra energy, power up your Sisu!
I just wanted to share this beautiful photo with you. While I write these words, I´m sitting in front of my favorite café in my German hometown, I have a day off – and was asked to write an article on Positive Psychology for the premier HR and Coaching practitioner magazine. It´s the first day of 2014 that really feels like spring – no need to wear a jacket in the early afternoon sun. And, very appropriately, iPod shuffle mode chose to play me the song you´ll find below the picture…
All you do
All you’ve been through
Has put you where you are today
All you do
Is a photograph of you
Now do you like what’s in the picture?
The time is now
There’s no time for waiting around
You get one shot, don’t run for cover
Until it’s over
This is the good life now
This is the high life now
I can see with my own eyes
That it’s a good, good life
The things you say
Day after day
Make all the difference in the world
The things you hate
Might never go away
But they can’t win if you don’t let them
The time is now
There’s no time for hanging around
This your chance, take it with no doubt
And don’t let go, now
This is the good life now
This is the high life now
I can see with my own eyes
That it’s a good, good life
Todd Kashdan is Associate Professor of Psychology at George Mason University. He conducts research on anxiety, positive emotions, purpose in life, mindfulness, gratitude, how personal strengths operate in everyday life, social relationships, self-regulation, and how to foster and sustain happiness and meaning in life.
Via Psychology Today, he published his recipe for becoming a “killer scientist”. It´s a great piece to read. Here, you´ll find the short version:
Don’t look at public opinion polls about what people are studying. Focus on activities that ignite your passion. Don’t study areas because they are hot and sexy. Ask questions that ignite your passion.
It is more impactful to get your work featured in an article in Parade magazine than the top journal in your field. Hang around scientists who understand this principle.
Show your stuff in a way that can be understood by teenagers. Think like a human. Be an exceptional presenter. How? Concrete. Sticky. Stories.
Retain people that ensure you stay humble. Be generous by always giving more than you take. Complementarity is righteous.
Think of work in 15-minute intervals. It´s not complicated. Discipline slowly accumulates into major accomplishments.
Also, you might want to watch his TEDx talk on “Becoming a mad scientist with your life”:
Found on the Facebook page of the Global Shapers organization, an initiative of the World Economic Forum
One of the letters in Martin Seligman´s PERMA outline of Positive Psychology is M for Meaning (in life). In this post, I would like to point you to three outstanding resources on that topic:
First, check out Maria Popova´s fabulous Brain Pickings site – in this case her essay on Viktor Frankl´s Logotherapy and his conception of meaning in life.
Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.
Second, you might want to have a look at Michael Steger´s TEDx talk – where he explains why and how meaning in life can be a matter of life an death; and what role relationships play in that piece.
And third, here´s a link to a website I discovered recently which contains a psychological test that can help you to find your personal “purpose pattern” (at work). It was created by a team around Aaron Hurst, author of The Purpose Economy. I found that some familiar MAPP faces are also associated with that project, namely “Chief Giving Officer” Adam Grant, and Job Crafting Authority Amy Wrzesniewski.
Enjoy!
Any suggestions from your side? I´m not a Christian (any more) – so I could very well live with 17 or 333 commandments…
–> Research on the benefits of positive emotions.
–> Research on the benefits of experiencing flow.
–> Research on the benefits of positive relationships.
–> Research on the benefits of finding meaning and purpose in life.
–> Research on the benefits of grit and achievement.
–> Research on the benefits of physical exercise.
–> Research on the benefits of spending time in nature.
–> Research on the benefits of post-traumatic growth.
–> Research on the benefits of meditation and mindfulness.
–> Research on the benefits of altruism.
* I just couldn´t resist putting one of favorite metal bands in this list. Kiitos, Stratovarius!
** The last song is also a hint at what to do with this post… 🙂
In terms of age, Positive Psychology is now in its teenage years. Most of the stuff that´s been happening so far – be it research or practice – is located in in the USA (but PP is pretty well-developed in other Anglo-Saxon cultures such as the UK and Australia as well).
But what about my Germany, my mother country? Well, Germans in general are known for a lot of sought-after character traits – but we may just not be the perfect audience for Positive Psychology. At the end of the day, we´re not really the shiny happy people, right? And the more we need PP…maybe.
There are a few German PP researchers out there, but typically, they tend to work in the U.S., such as Matthias Mehl. I´m the third German MAPPster. The first one is Johannes Eichstaedt who is now a Ph.D. student at Penn´s Positive Psychology Center. The second one is Judith Mangelsdorf who now pursues a Ph.D. at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin.
A couple of months ago, the German (-speaking) Association of Positive Psychology was founded (is also associated with IPPA, the International Positive Psychology Association). In addition, a lot of information can be found via www.seligmaneurope.com.
unsplash.com/@element5digital
First thing to say: Because she deserves it, obviously! Second: the headline includes “almost”. Let´s be honest here. I travel a lot, but on a lot of Saturdays, she gets ´em.
Now, there is reason and a story behind this. I buy flowers for my wife because of my grandpa. He served in World War II, got wounded several times, and was a prisoner of war for about a year towards the end of the story. When I was a boy, he used to tell me stories of that time over and over again: Mostly horrible stories of him seeing his comrades being torn to pieces by grenades – but there was one story that I particularly liked. He used to recount:
You know, I am not a very religious guy. But when I was a prisoner, I prayed to God. And I told him: Please God, if you let me return home to my wife, I promise you I will buy her roses every weekend until the end of my life.
And as far as I know, he kept his promise. Later, when I was a young man and my grandpa could hardly walk any more due to long-term sequelae of his battlefield injuries, I used to do the grocery shopping for my grandparents on Saturday mornings. Grandpa would always give me an extra 20 Deutsche Mark so I could buy roses for grandma at his favorite flower shop. And I would bring home the roses – and he would give them to her. We did this right to the end.
So that´s why I buy roses for my wife (almost) every week. I´ve learned from the best. Here´s to you, Opa…
Mappalicious 